Orson went to the looney bin. And his mother was right by his side. Susan found this out in a scene that I was certain would result in physical comedy, but ended with nothing but a picture of Orson with bad hair.

Now that Mike has been arrested for the murder of Monique, Bree is certain Orson had nothing to do with her death. Maybe he didn’t actually bash her head in with the wrence, but Bree shouldn’t have let him back in, because he did cheat on his wife. And with Mike in jail, Bree forgave Orson and subsequently kicked Mommie Dearest out of the house. I thought that would be the last I would see of Dixie Carter for a long time, but when she snuck out of the house towards a black car at the end of the block, revealing the very living emobodiment of Alma, Orson’s supposedly dead wife, I couldn’t move or speak for about five minutes. Of all the shockers they have given us over the years, that certainly tops everything they’ve dished out.

I was equally mad and sad for Lynette as the rumor of Art’s alleged pedophila spread through the town. Not only did Art and his sister face harsh times at the store and the youth center, but a group of picketers rallied at Art’s house for 15 minutes before the ambulance came to escort Rebecca away. (We later found out she died.) I felt exactly like Lynette when she tried to apologize for her actions. I was even near shedding tears. And then, Art let his secret loose, and my stomach did more flips than an Olympic diver. Now that his sister’s dead, he’s free. Ick. I should feel glad that he’s already packed and leaving that poor house on Wisteria Lane again, shouldn’t I? But I’m not happy that he’s out there molesting other kids.

Speaking of Christmas, I wondered for 59 minutes why this week’s show featured Christmas all over it. And then there was no preview for next week’s show at the end. They’re going on hiatus! Possibly for the rest of the year! How could they leave us now? OK, the cliffhanger on “Lost” is more intense, but this is just as juicy.

And speaking of juicy, how about Gabrielle’s new suitor, the widowed father of one of her pageant hopefuls? Not only was his jaw impossibly chiseled, but his teeth were so white I was able to turn off the lights in my house and use the glisten from his molars to provide all the light I needed. Seeing Gabrielle fight the widower’s daughter by pitting her best friend against her was classic Gaby. The result of their date is another cliffhanger I can’t wait to see.

Should I be upset that the housewives are taking a breather? Or should I be happy that I can do other things with that hour on Sunday, like put up Christmas decorations?