Susan wants to give up on Sir Ian McCutie. Ian wants to push on full steam ahead. I’m in a tight spot on this one. If I were in a coma, I’d be upset if I found out my husband dated someone else while I was sleeping. But if I were tending to my comatose husband, I’d probably—probably!—go out to dinner with a guy who was tending to his husband. If he looked like Dougray Scott, and if he gave me the eyes he gave Susan at the wedding reception, it would be a difficult decision.

I hope Susan doesn’t give Ian the brush-off, because who am I going to live through vicariously? You’re probably thinking of Austin, Edie’s rippled nephew. Nah. I agree with Julie; he’s not that cute.

I suppose I should just be happy the Housewives are still doing scenes together, conspiring to bring down Orson before he slips a ring on Bree’s finger (and talk the bride out of the key lime dresses). They didn’t achieve it, but that doesn’t mean they’re not going to keep trying.

Elsewhere, Gabrielle is going to be a mommy! Well, maybe not. You probably noticed the air pressure drop drastically at 8:53, when we found out that the baby inside Xiao Mei was not a healthy Hispanic baby, but a crying black child. Ummmmmmm. So the fertility clinic switched embryos at the last minute, and the Solis’ baby didn’t carry to term. I thought I felt bad for Gabrielle when she lost the baby she was carrying last season. I feel real bad for her now. Will she get another chance? And will Xiao Mei stick around for another implantation?

And how long do you think it will take for the Housewives and the cops to catch up to Orson’s little secret, which got a stay of execution after he and CrazyLady Carolyn couldn’t identify the woman as Orson’s wife, who’s actually some woman named Dominique? My guess is halfway through November sweeps.

“Desperate Housewives” airs Sundays at 8 on ABC.