The premiere of third season of “Desperate Housewives” was better than any of the second season’s shows. It was funny, compelling and a little bit scandalous. But I’m withholding judgment on whether this show is back or not until November sweeps.

We open in the house of Orson Hodge, the villainous dentist who ran down Mike last season and then walked up to Bree’s house with flowers and romantic intentions. We learned he was married to a woman who was just like Bree, but couldn’t live as a Martha Stewart clone another day. She wasn’t able to walk out on Orson, who killed her, chopped her up and fed her to the dog or the garbage disposal.

We’re back in the present, where Orson has proposed, prompting a meeting of the four major Housewives (yay! They actually do work on the same lot!) where Bree shows off the rock. She won’t have sex with Orson until the wedding night. But that idea goes right out the door when Orson starts talking about getting stains off wine glasses with red wine vinegar and denatured alcohol. Faster than you can say “flower centerpiece,” Bree is experiencing something her dead husband and boyfriend never gave her: a real orgasm. Her joke about Republicans never having oral sex probably didn’t go over well in red households. But it had the members of my blue home laughing all the way through to the premiere of “Brothers and Sisters,” even as Laurie Metcalf showed up to ruin Bree’s engagement party about Orson’s little secret.

Susan has spent her time at the hospital caring for Mike, who’s been in a coma. There, she meets the fabulously charming Dougray Scott, whose got a wife in a coma. Suddenly, he’s charming Susan in that soothing British accent. It works, and Susan’s getting giddy and clumsy, spilling a strawberry shake all over the comatose wife.

But wait, why is Susan asking for Mike’s approval to go out with Sir Ian McCutie if she’s still in love with Mike? A woman who comes by every day to shave a comatose man couldn’t really be interested in someone else, even if it’s “just dinner.” But susan wouldn’t be Susan if her love life wasn’t complicated.

This show was all about comedy in its premiere. Gaby threw out fastball one-liners to Xao Mei, who’s very pregnant with her and Carlos’ baby.

Lynette’s trying hard to get Tom’s illegitimate child’s mother out of the picture (literally, when the Scavos try to take a decent Christmas picture), without offending Tom and the gir

I didn’t think about the Applewhites at all during the episode (even when Mrs. McCloskey mentioned their house to Edie), and I think that means getting rid of that plotline was a good idea, even it means Wisteria Lane goes back to its lilly-white ways.

But I hope the gay couple who was looking at Paul Young’s house end up moving in. Now that creator Marc Cherry’s back on the writing staff, it’s quite possible.

“Desperate Housewives” airs Sundays at 8 on ABC.