Some days I feel people are really beginning to understand that we’re not all alike and we all can use a little understanding. Then there are days when children with autism are voted out of kindergarten classrooms and escorted off of airplanes because they can’t control their behavior.

If an autistic toddler in meltdown is removed from a plane, what might happen on the plane when an adult with autism gets upset? My son is an adult and looks like one, but he doesn’t always act like one. One wouldn’t need to watch him for more than a few minutes to realize that he has a disability, but autism might not be the disability that comes to mind.

David is verbal, although it isn’t always easy for people to understand what he says. He will approach people to ask questions, but they aren’t always appropriate questions. If David doesn’t understand what someone is saying to him, he may tell that person that he or she isn’t speaking English, even if he is. If you get in David’s way, it’s your fault, even if it really isn’t your fault. But an apology is easily accepted.

David loves to fly. He and I are flying to visit my parents in a little over a month. If we get to the airport and the flight gets canceled, he will simply not understand. If we are on the plane and it hasn’t taken off by the scheduled departure time, David will want to call for a flight attendant to find out why. He knows the rules: if you have your laptop out three seconds after the flight attendant has announced that it should be put away, he will remind you. Better fasten your seat belt, lock your tray table up and put your seat back in the upright position.

If David gets upset, whether by delays, crowds or a rude passer by, he is likely to lose his temper. He won’t scream like a toddler in a meltdown, but he’ll raise his voice and say inappropriate things like “Call the police on him,” if all someone did was bump him without saying “Excuse me.” In an airport, this could really cause a ruckus.

As we board the plane, David will ask what the cruising altitude is likely to be. I don’t know why it is important, but it is. Once he knows, he will tell me at least a dozen times that we will be cruising at X altitude. When the pilot makes an announcement, he will repeat it. Several times. If we experience turbulence, he will worry and then announce that we’re having turbulence. Once we’ve landed, he will tell everyone that we landed safely. Several times.

He’ll make comments similar to those that got an adult with Asperger’s removed from a plane about a year ago. The young man was obsessed with airplanes and talked to passengers about it. Because his disability wasn’t apparent, some passengers were worried about his interest in the mechanics of the plane and he was removed, causing considerable angst for his parents, who thought they had seen him safely on the flight and left the airport.

We have gotten to the point where the most innocent comment can be interpreted as a threat and a child can’t have a temper tantrum. Don’t raise your voice, don’t get upset, don’t use any words like kill or explode even if you are just talking about the exterminator treating your house or the fireworks display this weekend. And this isn’t some science fiction story of a future with no freedom. This is reality.

Well, I’m not keeping David home. I’ll travel with him and smooth the way, but he has as much right to travel as anyone else. People can just get used to the fact that there are people in this world who dance to a different tune and they aren’t dancing in private anymore.

If the plane is late and he gets upset, he probably won’t the the only one. He’ll just be the one saying out loud what others are thinking. Maybe that’s a good thing.