Governor who? Milk does a body bad. Say what? Porch couches prohibited. Cell phone perv. Lawyer “busted.” Rifle recovered. Bare-naked bar-tending. Walk the plank. Order’s up! No thanks, we don’t need $3M. Love line. Musical cars. Big Mac attack! Dog done good. College kids cuckoo for corn.

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And now a word from Gov. Mike Hucka… er, Beebe

By ANDREW DeMILLO
Associated Press Writer

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) — Arkansas’ governor needs a name tag.

Mike Beebe has been in office nearly two years, but that hasn’t stopped officials in his state from confusing him with his similarly named predecessor, Mike Huckabee. Even the chief of the state’s medical school and a state agency director get tongue-tied over the names.

“To my right is Gov. Mike Huckabee,” University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Chancellor I. Dodd Wilson said Friday at a ceremony introducing Beebe.

He quickly corrected himself as the audience howled.

“I got half of it right,” Wilson said.

Minutes later, Wilson made the same flub.

Physically, the two Mikes don’t share a common appearance. Democrat Beebe has white hair; Republican Huckabee’s is dark brown.

Huckabee, who served as the state’s governor for 10-1/2 years, also gained fame by losing more than 100 pounds and becoming an avid fitness advocate, a distinction Beebe doesn’t have. Huckabee, who campaigned for the Republican presidential nomination, supported Beebe’s opponent in 2006 gubernatorial election.

“If Gov. Huckabee were here, he and I would both agree that most of the similarity stops with the name,” Beebe said. “I mean, if I lost 100 pounds, you wouldn’t even see me.”

The confusion provided a bit of levity last month during the funeral for Arkansas Democratic Party Chairman Bill Gwatney, a close friend of Beebe’s who was shot and killed at the party’s headquarters. Beebe and former president Bill Clinton took advantage of the Rev. Vic Nixon’s reference to the current governor as Huckabee.

“Thank you, monsignor,” Beebe responded to the Methodist pastor’s introduction at Gwatney’s funeral, using a term applied only by Catholics to some of their clergymen.

“If you had introduced me as President Bush, I’d be convinced that Bill Gwatney wrote the script for your service,” Clinton later added.

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Heads up! Frats accused of vomiting milk on cars.

Glad their tuition is being so well spent.

TEMPE, Ariz. (AP) — Police say members of an Arizona State University fraternity vomited milk from a campus bridge onto cars below, causing a crash that injured two people.

Tempe police Sgt. Steve Carbajal said Wednesday that the vomit caused one car to stop in the road, and another car smashed into it from behind.

Carbajal says a woman driving one of the cars and her 6-year-old daughter suffered minor injuries in the Monday night crash.

ASU police is investigating the alleged prank.

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Say what? Skeptical bank teller scares off would-be robber.

CENTEREACH, N.Y. (AP) — Police say a bank teller in Long Island, New York, had a simple question for a would-be robber: Are you serious?

The skeptical teller’s question was apparently enough to spook the female suspect, who fled the Roslyn Savings Bank in Centereach late Thursday afternoon without a dime.

Police say she walked into the bank located inside a supermarket and handed the teller a note demanding cash and threatening to open fire if the teller didn’t comply.

That’s when the teller expressed her crime-fighting dubiousness and asked if the suspect was serious. Police say the woman left without ever showing a gun.

They say she is also a suspect in a robbery Tuesday at the Bank of Smithtown, also in Centereach, a Long Island town about 50 miles east of New York City.

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College town bans porch couches

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) — Relaxing on the porch in a ratty recliner might not be allowed in Lincoln any longer.

The city council voted 5-2 Monday to ban porch couches and other indoor furniture used outside.

No one testified against the proposal during the council’s public hearing last week.

Supporters of the ban say it’s a way to help revitalize older neighborhoods. It also likely targets college students who move in and out of rental homes.

Lincoln is home to the campus of the University of Nebraska at Lincoln.

An aide to the mayor says he doesn’t intend to veto the ordinance, which goes into effect Oct. 7.

At least 10 other cities have similar bans, including Ames, Iowa, Boulder, Colo., and East Lansing, Mich.

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Cell phone picture perv gets HIS mug shot.

NEW YORK (AP) — Police arrested a man accused of taking a cell phone picture under a subway rider’s skirt after the victim said she used her own phone to snap back.

The 28-year-old woman said she was victimized last month while climbing stairs to an elevated station in upper Manhattan. A passer-by confirmed her suspicion that he had taken a photo up her skirt, she said.

She followed the suspect onto a train, took his picture, then e-mailed it to police and filed a report. “I told him `smile’ because I am going to the police,” the woman told The New York Times.

Aaron Olivieri was arrested Tuesday on misdemeanor charges of attempted unlawful surveillance, attempted sexual abuse and harassment. He was nabbed in a Manhattan subway station by an officer who said he matched the person in the photo the woman had taken, authorities said.

His lawyer, Rigodis Appling, did not immediately return a call for comment on Friday.

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BUSTED: Lawyer cut fees in return for nude dances

CHICAGO (AP) — An attorney was suspended for more than a year for accepting nude dances from a stripper as partial payment for the legal fees she owed him.

The Illinois Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission on Thursday said Scott Robert Erwin will begin serving a 15-month suspension for misconduct next month.

Erwin, who practices in the northern Illinois city of DeKalb, and his client mutually agreed that she’d perform nude dances for him in his office as a way to reduce her legal fees, the commission’s report said. He credited her for $534 toward his bill for services of various legal matters, the report said.

While she agreed to the performances, the client contended he touched her inappropriately during those dances, and she went to police in 2002 with sexual assault allegations.

Erwin denied any inappropriate touching happened, and he was never charged criminally, the report said. He declined to comment on the panel’s decision Thursday. The woman no longer works as a stripper, the report said.

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Long Shot: Man finds rifle his dad used in Korea

DAVISON TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) — As gifts go, Jim Richardson’s choice for his father’s 79th birthday was a long shot.

Virgil Richardson fondly remembered the .30-caliber M1 Garand rifle he carried during his time as a soldier during the Korean War.

He even still had the weapon’s serial number.

Using that number, Jim Richardson went online and found the firearm at a Kentucky gun broker.

“I couldn’t even talk when he gave it to me,” Virgil Richardson told The Flint Journal. “It didn’t even have to be the same gun to be important to me.”

About 7 million of the sturdy rifles were produced during the Korean War period, making the odds of finding the right one so long that the broker didn’t believe the serial number matched, said Jim Richardson, 54, of Saginaw County’s Frankenmuth, about 70 miles northwest of Detroit.

“After the war, the soldiers couldn’t bring the rifles back with them,” Jim Richardson said. “They stayed in Korea (until the 1980s), when they were able to be imported back to the United States.”

He won’t say exactly how much he spent, but some collectors have paid as much as $3,000. He gave the Garand to his father last week, although the elder Richardson’s birthday isn’t until next month.

Virgil Richardson served from 1951-53 as an Army radio operator in the 25th Infantry Division. When he speaks of the war, the General Motors Corp. retiree often mentions the rifle’s accuracy and dependability, as well as his own marksmanship.

“My sister lives in the country, and it came up that you could shoot a deer right from the deck of her home,” Jim Richardson said. “Dad made a comment that he could hit a silhouette target at 500 yards without a scope. Most people can’t see that far without a scope.”

Virgil Richardson said he’ll wait until his Oct. 26 birthday to shoot the weapon.

“What shocked me the most is how very heavy it is,” he said. “I have trouble now holding it up and aiming it. I guess they were made for 20- and 21-year-olds.”

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Tips must be good: Woman tends bar in the buff

DELHI, Ill. (AP) — Here’s a tip: Bar-tending nude can get you arrested.

Sheriff’s deputies doing a routine check this week at a southern Illinois bar say they discovered a not-so-routine sight. Authorities allege that 33-year-old Janet Brannon was naked while serving bar patrons at the Cabin Tavern in Delhi.

Brannon was arrested and charged with misdemeanor public indecency. She was freed on $8,000 bond.

She was the only bar employee working at the time, so the tavern was closed Thursday.

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Officials pave over musical asphalt most advertising ploy ever!

LANCASTER, Calif. (AP) — Residents of northern Los Angeles County are not grooving to this music.

Lancaster city officials said this week that they’re paving over a quarter-mile strip of asphalt grooved to play the William Tell Overture when auto tires speed over it.

The road was completed this month as part of an ad campaign for Honda. It’s engineered to play the overture — also known as the theme to “The Lone Ranger” — at perfect pitch for motorists driving Honda Civics at 55 mph.

But neighbors aren’t amused. One says the road music sounds like a high-pitched drone. Another says it keeps him and his wife up at night.
Lancaster officials plan to pave over the grooves Tuesday.

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City forces pirate boys to walk the plank

VANCOUVER, British Columbia (AP) — The front yard of a house in a tony British Columbia neighborhood is a little less welcoming for pirates now.

Architect Andrew Dewberry and a crew of friends spent Saturday dismantling the pirate ship tree house he’s had in his Vancouver yard for two years. He said he had no choice after a court ordered it to be removed for not complying with city bylaws.

Dewberry had to explain the situation to his sons Jack, 9, and Sam, 7, before the tree house came down. He said, “They’ve had a lot of joy with the tree fort.”

Jack, who stood with a friend and watched the dismantling, said, “We wanted to sleep in it over the summer one time, but we didn’t get around to it and now we can’t.”

In July, the judge in the case admired the workmanship of the ship, complete with plastic cannons, in a perch 6-1/2 feet up a large, leafy tree in front of the family’s home. But the judge said its merits were irrelevant to whether the tree house violated city bylaws.

Dewberry said the tree house would be auctioned for the Boys and Girls Club of Vancouver. The benefit is set for Oct. 16.

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Diner owner Jerry Grubb — yes, that is his real name — is giving away his restaurant.

HUNTINGDON, Pa. (AP) — Jerry Grubb cares so deeply about the future of his former diner that he is offering to give away the 1950s-style restaurant for free.

He has only one stipulation: The new owner must move it and reopen it.

“These types of diners are really making a comeback, and I’m surprised no one locally wants it,” Grubb said. “It’s an excellent piece, and you can’t get them much cheaper.”

Locals called it the end of an era when Grubb’s Diner shut its doors last year to make way for a pharmacy. Grubb, the manager and cook for 52 years, decided it was time to hang up his spatula, but he didn’t have the heart to demolish the restaurant.

Instead, he dismantled it and paid a moving company to haul the 68-foot-long silver diner a mile up the road from its original location in the central Pennsylvania town of Huntingdon. It now sits on two flatbed trailers, empty except for the original light fixtures, booths and bar.

The diner was recently appraised for $100,000, but Grubb said he is willing to negotiate a lower price or donate it to the right person. Grubb bought the diner in 1964 from the Swingle Diner Co. in Middlesex, N.J.

In an ideal world, someone would reopen it in Huntingdon and bring back the 15-cent pie slice, said Barb Blair, a longtime Grubb family employee.

“People came here from all over,” she said. “Jerry’s mother would make the pies, and people flocked here because they were that good.”

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Paging Bill Clinton: Callers dialing Democrats get sex chat offer instead

NEWTON, N.J. (AP) — A misprint in a telephone book has led to some callers dialing a phone sex service while trying to reach a New Jersey political organization.

A listing for the Sussex County Democratic Committee in Embarq’s white pages sent people to a sultry female voice inviting them to pay for sex chat.

Embarq spokesman Glenn Lewis told The New Jersey Herald of Newton that a transposition error caused the last three digits of the Democrats’ phone number to be misprinted.

He said the listing has been corrected in Embarq’s directory assistance database.

The organization’s 800 number listed in the book’s yellow pages was correct.

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Charity turns down share of $3M lottery jackpot

PATCHOGUE, N.Y. (AP) — A New York charity says it has turned down a share of a $3 million lottery jackpot because accepting the money could send the wrong message to gambling addicts.

The Lighthouse Mission, which helps feed 3,000 hungry Long Island residents a week, had been chosen to share an anonymous donor’s jackpot last month. The donor gave the winning ticket to the True North Community Church, which said it would share the money with other charities.

The mission’s pastor, James Ryan, says he appreciates the offer but had to turn it down because his organization counsels against addictions, including gambling. He did not say what the mission’s share of the prize would have been.

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Man has eaten 23,000 Big Macs since 1972

FOND DU LAC, Wis. (AP) — Talk about a Big Mac attack! Don Gorske says he has eaten 23,000 of the burgers in 36 years.

The Fond du Lac man said he hit the 23,000 milestone last month, continuing a culinary obsession that began May 17, 1972, and is fed by his obsessive-compulsive disorder.

“I enjoy them every day,” said Gorske, 54. “I need two to fill me up.”

Gorske has kept every burger receipt in a box. He says he was always fascinated with numbers, and watching McDonald’s track its number of customers motivated him to track his own consumption.

Despite a diet some would call unhealthy, Gorske says he keeps himself in good shape. He says he’s 6-foot-2 and weighs 185 pounds, and walks as many as 10 miles a day.

He used to order fries every day in the 1980s but began to cut back in the ’90s, now eating them about once a month. He eats two Big Macs and two parfaits a day. Gorske has written a book about his experience.

“Sometimes people call me a freak but it doesn’t bother me. I just say respect people as they are,” he told The Associated Press. “I just want to make sure people understand I’m not going to change.”

He can instantly recall the eight days in which he failed to satisfy his craving. One was in 1988, the day his mother died, to respect a request she made.

“I made a promise to her and I always keep my promises,” he said. “I also promised her I wouldn’t cut my hair and in 20 years I haven’t.”

He twice failed to attack a Big Mac because of his job. A correctional-institution employee, he said a number of work emergencies kept him on the clock past midnight so he recorded those days as missed days.

Three other times he was traveling and couldn’t find a McDonald’s. He also went Big Mac-less on Thanksgiving Day 2000, and during a 1982 snowstorm that prevented the local McDonald’s franchise from opening.

“That’s when I started a habit where I kept them in the freezer,” he said. He keeps one or two burgers on hand but increases his inventory to four to five during the winter.

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Good girl! Pooch rescues sick neighbor

NEW YORK (AP) — A fluffy little dog named Lexi is being called a hero for helping to rescue an 85-year-old neighbor who collapsed in his Brooklyn apartment.

Linda Deutsch concedes that she thought Lexi — a white bichon frise — was being naughty when she refused to get into the elevator for their walk.

Finally, though, Deutsch let Lexi lead her down the hall. That’s when she heard a cry for help.

The building superintendent was summoned, and they found Charles Postler, who had been lying helplessly on the floor for hours. He was treated at a hospital.

Comments his son, Charles Postler Jr.: “People say that dogs are man’s best friend and this proves it all over again.”

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Aw shucks! Forget beer pong, Iowa college kids want CORN!

IOWA CITY, Iowa (AP) — The University of Iowa has shucked its ban on an annual corn eating contest after removing the gluttony.

Phillip Jones, the school’s vice president for student services, said many people asked what he had against corn — the state’s hallmark crop — after he canceled the all-you-can-eat contest last year.

“I got a lot of complaints from around the state,” he said. “’Why do you have something against corn?’ It’s not the corn; it’s the concept.”
The contest, part of a week’s celebration leading up the annual football game against Iowa State, will be allowed this year — but students will compete to see who can eat a single ear of corn the fastest, not who can eat the most.

“They are doing it in a short and fun way and promoting the state’s major product,” Jones said.