Hey folks, I have been reading people's blogs for quite a while (Hi Mona!) with great interest. Isn't it funny how we live so close together here in Rancho, and yet here we are online, reading about each other, rather than interacting? I am certainly guilty of it myself. Call it shyness, busyness, exhaustion, whatever...! We humans, having brought communication to such heights, still have difficulty connecting. It is ironic, because I believe, almost more than anything else, we are driven by the desire to belong. We want to be a part of something, and truly welcome there, whether it is our family, our workplace or our group of friends. To belong, we must have acceptance- of who we are, our imperfection, our shortcomings, as well as our strengths and victories.
But we are so bothered by the thought that someone, somewhere disapproves of us or our lifestyle that we go to great lengths to comply with what we think are social norms. Now, to be sure, there is value to being considerate of others. But when we are solely motivated by outside influences, our own integrity is at risk. I call this being buffeted about by the winds of change. After all, there will always be someone who believes we are deficient, immoral, going to heck in a handbasket, etc. and it is impossible to live up to what the media presents as "normal" Have YOU ever seen a home which both houses a 2 year old and is always clean? Not to mention tastefully appointed? HAH! As if. Yet television and movies foist these myths upon us ad nauseam. Isn't it funny how the supposedly middle class family on TV always seems to live in a home that in reality would only be an option for the much more well to do? How many of us question this influence? And yet these images chip away at our collective self esteem, spurring us to want more and more stuff, which means more and more time spent working, and less time with our families and friends. We are trying to buy belonging. Sorry folks, it just can't be done. None of the stuff we have can ever result in true happiness. True happiness does not disappear when the car breaks down. Now, to be sure, having enough is important. It helps us to be content and concentrate on more spiritual matters. In Buddhism, we call this the middle way. When we are poor, unless we have developed great concentration on spiritual matters, we tend to focus on the lack in our lives. When we base our happiness on riches or status, we find the need to maintain this lifestyle often leads to compromises in our spiritual integrity.
Buddhism offers some wonderful guidelines for living that can be adopted by anyone, as they certainly do not compromise any other tradition. Please check out Thich Nhat Hanh's "The Five Wonderful Precepts" which are written gently.
Now I know these can seem very difficult to maintain, and I certainly do not claim to follow them all perfectly. But they are a place to start. Even though I know this, I still read these precepts daily and ask myself to simply be mindful of them.
The precept of not taking life is particularly difficult for many who choose to eat meat. I am not a strict vegetarian, for many reasons. But when I do eat chicken or fish, I am mindful that a sentient creature gave its all for me to have that meal, and I try to live a compassionate life so that that being's life was not wasted. But more and more I find I prefer to eat foods that need not cause suffering in their production. I will eventually give up eating meat altogether. BTW, I have heard that becoming vegetarian or restricting meat consumption is the single most effective way an individual can combat global warming. WOW.
More than anything, I feel these precepts are terrific guidelines for belonging-to to our true selves.
We give a Dharma talk every Saturday at 3:00 at our Martial Arts School. We now share space with Chris Jbarra's Chung Do Kwan Academy at 630 W Ward Lane. Please come join us!