The words may be paraphrased, but I swear I'm not making this up!

Beginnings (August):
Me: We're going to be doing National History Day. It's really great, and you'll get to work with your friends or work alone and create a website, performance, documentary, exhibit, or research paper. You'll choose your own topic and will create something totally original that will awe everyone.
Student: I heard it's a lot of work, like we have to do a bibliography and everything.
(Collective groan)
Me: Well, it IS a lot of work, but everything worthwhile is difficult.
(More groaning)
Me: And a lot of you will win at regionals, and then we'll all go to Phoenix for the state competition and stay in a hotel near Chandler Mall, and some of you will win and go to Washington D.C.
Student: Ok, if there's a shopping mall....

First Trip to the U of A Library (3 buses from Sierra Vista), October:
Me: Ok, we're about to enter the U of A library. Get out your list of books and stuff that you're looking for.
Student: List? Oh, we were supposed to keep that list we made in the Mac Lab?
Me: Now don't just go in and mill around like cattle, or the librarians will yell at me. If you need to regroup or get help, go down to the first floor, and I'll help you.
(We enter the library. The students mill around like cattle.)
Student 1: Hey, they have an ELEVATOR here! Let's ride it. (We're from Sierra Vista....)
Student 2: Dr. Adeli, will you help me find the microfilm?
(Later)
Student 1: Hey, look at these cool documents we found! And I didn't even break the microfilm machine!
Student 2: I'm having trouble finding the books. Where do I go?
Student 3: And can I borrow your catcard so I can make copies at a different machine.
Student 4: These university girls are sure hot! Maybe I should go here after I graduate.

The Slump, about January:
Student 1: Dr. Adeli, I can't find any sources, and my mother says why do I have to do this anyway.
Student 2 (crying): Do I have to work with those two? They keep saying I'm not doing any work, but I'm working hard. It's not my fault I'm on the basketball team and working 30 hours a week.
Student 3: Yeah, can we kick her out of our group? You said we could choose.
Student 4: Do I have to do this? It's too hard. I can't find any sources. I hate the other people in my group. My parents say maybe we'll be moving to Germany just before the regional competition.
Me (using the most advanced pedagogical technique): Do it, or you fail the class!

Second trip to the U of A library, February:
Student 1: Dr. Adeli, look at me! I'm so good at the microfilm machine that a college student asked me to help HER!
Student 2: I still don't have any sources; maybe I should change my topic; maybe I should get in a different group or work alone.
Student 3: Hey, where is Special Collections? They have some great primary sources there. And do you think I could borrow your catcard, please, please, to check out this really expensive book that I will probably lose. (No, they don't really say that; I'm just reading between the lines here.)
Former Student/Currently a U of A Student: Hey, Mrs. Adeli, I saw the yellow Sierra Vista buses pull up, and I knew you'd be down here in the 1st floor near the microfilm! I remember when I did National History Day....

Just Before the Regional Competition:
Student 1: What happens if I can't go? I'm scheduled to work at McDonald's?
Student 2: Do I have to DRESS UP for this?
Student 3 (arriving at my house in the middle of the night): My mother says I have to go to Mexico tomorrow to see my grandmother. Could you take my exhibit and set it up?
My husband: (grumpy at being awakened and finding a giant project in the living room) *!&% (and other stuff I can't print in a family newspaper).

After Regionals:
Student 1: I won! The judges loved me! Wow, they saw how hard I worked!
Student 2: This sucks. Just because I forgot my bibliography and couldn't remember what my project is about! Can I go to Phoenix with you guys anyway? I want to go shopping at the mall.
Student 3: How do I find more primary sources? And do you think I can get an interview with Nazi?
Student 4: You never gave me a permission slip for Phoenix.
Me: (dispensing great wisdom) I gave you 2 already! Stop losing them!
School district official: You need a purchase order by when? Did you meet with the school board, the site council, and ten other random people to get authorization for this? And we lost the information about the grant you got to pay the bus bill for the U of A library.

After State:
Student 1: I worked so hard and did the most brilliant work ever. How come I didn't win?
Student 2: I'm never speaking to my teammates again. It was their fault we lost.
Student 3: Are you really taking us to Washington D.C.? Is there a mall there?
Student 4: I hate the color of these State Champion shirts. Do I have to wear it?
Student 5: I'm going to wear mine every day for the next week.
Me: Oh Lord. How am I going to get the money for this?
School officials: How are you going to get the money for this? And by the way, since you're already taking 20 teenagers to Washington D.C., why don't you take Sierra Vista's middle school winners too?

Aftermath:
Me: (in the U of A library on a Saturday) I can't believe I'm seeing you here!
Student 1: Why are you surprised? You got me hooked on this place, and now I always do research here.
Student 2: I'm about to graduate, and I got into Loyola Marymount University's filmmaking program for next year! They loved the National History Day documentary I included in my portfolio. And I got scholarship money too!
Student 3: Next year, when I'm a junior, I'm going to do National History Day again. This time I'm going to win!